I used to look around and think others had a way better life than me, that they had less problems or at least their problems didn’t impact them that much. Since talking to more people, I realise this isn’t the case, everyone literally has problems going on and when they’re alone perhaps they feel hopeless too.
You hear of someone going through something negative in life yet they post their positives to social media so you believe they’re doing better than they are, or at least when they do post their negatives social media has a way of almost making it look ‘good’ in the sense of you see others hyping the sad person up or you then see the same person post a happy photo out with friends, so it never truly looks like these people are very upset. But we really have no idea what they’re going through every second of their day. I have many moments during hard times where I am so down but do I share this moment with everyone? No.
When I was younger, I would be a ‘victim’ way more and believe I was feeling pain far more than other people in the same situation or that I was the only one in that situation. I’d feel resentful I couldn’t see anyone else going through it. Also, what is key here is that when I was younger I kept to myself a lot, kept my mind closed, lacked life experiences and wasn’t the most social. As I’ve gotten older I speak to more people and I’ve met more people thus finding out far more problems other people have and the way they deal with them. When I had a breakup all I could see was people around me happy in these stable (as far as we know right) relationships but when I started opening up to those around me I heard of a girl who’s ex moved a new girl into his home straight after their break up and of a lady who’s been married 3 times. Suddenly I wasn’t alone, and I wasn’t a victim, I was just having yet another normal human experience. It in no way makes my pain less valid, but it does make it less painful to feel not alone.
Furthermore, there were ‘scarier’ things which people were dealing with, such as the death of close family members or losing their home or finding a new job. I had things going on which others could quickly peek into my life and deem that I am luckier than them because I don’t have to deal with it. The reality is I have had a close family member die, I have had to move every single year for 5 years and I have had periods of struggle with finding a job. But right now, those 3 things do appear okay in my life. Everyone’s life has these ups and downs, things you never thought you’d deal with suddenly occur, and things you believe other people have never dealt with you learn they already have.
In conclusion I think its so important to be kind to people, because what they’re going through you could easily be going through in a few months or years. And the best way to figure out you’re not alone in your problems, is to open up. Other people are only too happy to open up about themselves as everyone needs a release. It’s not a ploy for attention, you’re having very valid human experiences, and everyone deals with it in different ways. You’re doing amazing, and so is everyone else. Perhaps when you’re on a high in life you could help those in worse times, then when life throws you a negative you have support in abundance around you because what you put out returns to you. Sadly, and amazingly, everything is temporary.
On an end note, forgive those whose minds are closed and who cannot accept everyone deals with pain in different ways. They may judge you, publicly or from behind their computer screen, but just be grateful that you can accept others for who they are because that makes you a wonderful, thoughtful person.